It’s been a long, hectic, exhausting week for me. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I didn’t think I would be this drained. Even in my sleep, I am not in peace! I’m plagued by dreams, that take my soul somewhere far far away, only to have them plunge me back into harsh reality when my alarm starts ringing. Dance, exams, assignments, presentations, working on the newspaper…I never knew my brain can work this hard. On Monday, I got a little stressed over French, since the exam is this coming Monday. But dance practice in the evening took them all away as I practiced like a mad woman with all other Stage Art-ians. I wanted to perfect all the moves, give them 150% and what not, seeing that Ambre and I have been practicing them since last Friday. I’m glad you guys helped me point out my mistakes, and all, and help me to correct them. They may not be perfect still, but it’s better than before. 
The minute dance practice ended, all other problems came smashing down on me again. By the time I got home, it was already 11+pm, so I read through my nasogastric tube feeding notes, and tried to visualize me doing the procedures in my head. But you know what’s the interesting part? In my head, as I was visualizing those procedures, I was also doing all the dance steps! I kept practicing them in my head, keep visualizing the correct steps, the moves, the grooves, and they played on and on, even while I was talking to myself about how I should aspirate the gastric juice and measuring it. This went on and on even after I went to sleep. I didn’t sleep very well that night. The next day, the same thing happened again. But the intensity was twice as bad, because my clinical assessment was on Wednesday and lunchtime performance was going to take place right after that! It was a painful pressure for me. I needed to do well for my clinical, and I want to perform well for dance! That night, after practice, I did the same thing, practiced the steps, physically and also in my head, as I ran through my procedures and rationales, over and over again! Again I didn’t sleep well that night. I prayed so hard that I would be able to accomplish both, successfully. I think it was the first time I prayed so hard since I came to Singapore.
With God’s blessing, the next day didn’t turn out to be disastrous. (I refused to think of anything bad that could happen on Wednesday, I was going on POSTIVE THINKING!) I managed to pass my clinical assessment, even though Ms. Allison and I both knew that I didn’t perform as well as I could have. We both also knew I performed better for the vital signs assessment and she asked me why. I just said I panicked. But overall, I still manage to meet the requirements and pass the test. Thank God for that. I was a bit disappointed with my performance but I would have to blame that on my lack of proper practices. Hopefully in time I would improve. I rushed to dance after that, and started practicing again non-stop. By the 4th or 5th time of practice, I was seriously out of breath. I thought I was going to faint, I couldn’t perform the steps properly. I was so scared, I didn’t want to think. I thought I was the only one, but it seems everyone was experiencing the same symptoms! We just stopped then. When we all got ready, you can almost feel the electric charge of our energy. The excitement, the power, it was charging in the air! It was so exciting!
Personally, for me, it was like reviving old memories again. The power charging in me, every time before I perform, it’s coming back again! Just that this time it’s different. For the past 10 years that I’ve been performing, this time, it was a different charge. I was going to DANCE! Something that will knock the breath out of me, and transfer the energy to the audience! It’s not the same as choir anymore (albeit the same stage rules apply, it’s like a standard thing, no doubt), but this time we were actually gonna rock the place with dance! It was exhilarating! *jumps around and squeal!*
It’s simply too troublesome to load all the pictures up here, but most of the is on Facebook, so if you’re interested to check them out, feel free. I have to say it’s been an extremely long time since I applied that much of make up and I still am not a fan neither am I an expert in it, it feels damn good once I remove them. Tee hee. For me, that’s way toooo much make up for daily basis but for stage performances, that’s merely enough to make you look presentable on stage. And not scare your audience. Hehehe.
And here, looking at…
Ahh…the joys of performing. I sure miss those days. I sure miss the choir. 
Don’t know when I would be able to perform with all of you again. I MISS YOU ALL!!! (Pictures are all on Facebook, somewhere, haha!)
Now back to Singapore. Lol. What happened after that? Oh yes, we performed alright, we did our best. But there’s always room for improvement 
! The disaster struck after that, when I woke up the next day, and my thighs and knees hurt like MAD. I thought it was just gonna be for a while, and nothing serious, but when I bent down to tie my shoe laces, gosh, I felt an excruciating pain on my left knee! Initially I felt pain on both knees and thighs, but they lessened the next day, leaving my left knee killing me slowly. I can’t flex my knee, or I’ll feel like the pressure at my joint! I don’t know if it’s going to go away but if it doesn’t I’m supposed to see the doctor. Gosh, I hope it’s nothing serious.
The bad news came after that too, my Psychology ICA presentation has been brought forward 2 weeks in front. So instead of presenting on Week 17 (Now it’s week 14, come this Monday), as scheduled, we are going to have to present on Week 15. Means I have 1 more week to RUSH everything and make sure all work is done. I am going to die. On top of that, I also have Family and Community Health ICA presentation on the same bloody week, and we still have yet to find our toddler to interview. God bless us, I’m not through! I still have dance! There is a National Day (Singapore’s) thing coming up, and dance is involved and oh-how-I-so-wish I can perform for that. So since Friday I’ve been practicing again, with Ambre, and now I have to recap the steps and get them all right by Tuesday. And also jab in some showmanship in the process. I’m losing touch with this skill! *gasp*!
French exam is on Monday, and Bio practical exam on Tuesday. Gotta scoot now and go work on my French grammar. Loads to finish up by tonight.
P.S. I WANT TO GO WATCH HARRY POTTER!!!!! T.T! I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!
P.P.S. I WANT SLEEP! I’M DEPRIVED OF SLEEP! T.T
P.P.P.S. I ALSO WANT A HOLIDAY!!! T.T SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY!!! *tears*
Toodles.
How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you…?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this…?
Cause you’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything,
Everything…
- Everything, Lifehouse.
