The end of a long week; the beginning of another.

July 25, 2009 at 11:41 PM (Escapades, Personal Rants, Those really long posts...again.)
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Another week has come to an end. So quickly. This time last week, I was worrying over my French exam and Bio practical test. Now I’m worried over my Psychology and Family and Community Health presentations next week. And I’m stressed over Psychology’s presentation now. Cause I’m not exactly sure how to go about it. I don’t know what I should do, what I should not do. Oh dear God. And everyone else’s marks are in my hands as well. I got to do this right! I want to make our presentation the BEST! Like, the POWER presentation! Hahahaha! Maybe cause I like Psychology, and I think it’s something so…profound, in a way. I want to make the best of it, I want to understand it! So much to digest…*sigh*

Didn’t get through the audition for National Day event for dance. Was quite down about it, but, nevertheless, I shall stand up again, and look forward to other opportunities. Maybe it’s a sign, a good sign, in a way. Maybe I just need some time to myself to finish up all that I have yet to finish. But whatever it is, I shall not let it stand in my way to open other doors. :D !

It’s been a hectic week as well, one exam after another. I managed to pull through Bio, but I know I did screwed up some questions, here and there. Damn, and I thought I have them all at the tip of my fingers! How could I overlook that part?? Whatever it is, I’ve done my best, now all I can do is just wait for my results, hoping it will turn out great.

This week had also been quite an emotional week for me, what with my own group members fighting among themselves, and I was trying to stay neutral, cause there really isn’t any point in getting angry or annoyed when a heated fight is already going on. Somehow, either I seem to lose my control more easily, or I seem to manage to keep them in control better than I ever have. It’s strange, but I guess, since I’m going to deal with more people with all kinds of character, I might as well learn how to control all these emotions now.

Well, at least I got to somehow relax-ed a bit yesterday. Classes weren’t so hectic yesterday, so we (Yanti, Priya, Syahiran, and yours truly) went out for Subway at AMK Hub for lunch. heeee! We were happy kids. Finally something good after a week of school’s food! Bleh! And Priya isn’t a vegetarian now on Fridays cause her mommy said she doesn’t have to now, so YAY! Last week when we went to the same Subway, poor Priya had Veggie Delite, and my, how we never stopped making fun of her going all the way to Subway to have just vegetables. XD! LOL Poor girl. (Priya if you’re reading this, please don’t kill me, cause you know you don’t want to! *shines*!) So so so, I had cheese steak and it was GOOD! :D ! So yes, we were happy kids. Then we had to go back to school. OH! And for the first time in a damn long time, I SAT IN A CAR IN SINGAPORE! HAHAHAHAHA! Yes, call me silly, whatever, but it’s been so damn long since I sat in a car, AND in Singapore! Lol. I told Yanti as she was driving and she literally laughed her ass off at me. Cause I was sorta floating, sitting at the front seat, swaying with this dreamy look on my face as I realized I was IN A CAR in SINGAPORE. Heeee. Now I can’t wait to go back to KL and sit in a car AGAIN! I’m ridiculous. LOL!

 

Then in the evening, Tanveer and I lingered around in school, while waiting for Ernest cause he was getting out of camp yesterday evening. We called him and he said he’d reach school at 8pm, and it was about 5+pm when we called him. -.- We were not amused. Lol. So we lingered in school, sat here, got bored, sat there, got bored, until I was attacked with this sharp pain of gastric. I don’t know how, or why I got the pain but damn, I thought I was going to die! And I ATE IN THE AFTERNOON! Hmph! But I got better when Tanveer helped got me some milk, so then we moved on to the library and I had a brilliant idea. Since we were wasting time, why not waste time doing something useful?? So I parked myself at the Recommended Books section and started leafing through all the Psychology books. :D ! Tanveer entertained himself by doing all the Psychology Test Yourselves thingys and lol, it was hilarious, some tests. Though I only managed to photocopy stuff from one book cause my photocopying skills sucked yesterday. (It was just yesterday, mind you!) When Ernest finally arrived, it was near 830pm. He arrived in his NS uniform, LOL! We went to AMK Hub (AGAIN! Second time in a day!) and wanted to watch Harry Potter!!! But the timing was too late, I won’t get home in time, and Ernest has already watched it (TRAITOR!!!!). We told him NOT to watch it first but he HAD to go watch it. Hmph! So we just had dinner, talked talked talked, walked to the MRT station, talked talked talked some more and finally left for home at nearly 11pm. Lol! Tanveer and Ernest even wanted to go to Somerset at 1015pm just to go there and hang out, but I was like, YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY! Lol. Ooooo! School was having this fair thing going on at the Atrium, and there was this stall that sells cute ceramic stuff with things written on them, and you can write your names on too! I thought it was a great gift idea, and damn cute, so I decided to get it for Tanveer and Ernest. :D ! Darn I forgot to take a picture of them, its like a personality thing! I wanted one that says “Princess” but it was gone by the time Tanveer went to get them for me!!! So he got me “Dreamer” instead. We got Ernest “Hunk”. LOL. He looked at it and went…”HUNK???” LOL! Hilarious. And I can’t believe what Tanveer got for himself. He got “Sexy”. He thought it was really funny, and I was just staring at him, jaw dropped and I went, “You got yourself SEXY??? SEXY????? ARE YOU INSANE???” Lol. But what he didn’t REALIZE in his haste was the picture was of a girl, and his name is written behind it. HAHAHAHAH! Serve him right. *smug smile* When I get to have them all three together, I’ll take a picture of them, and post them right up. :D !

And I am right to say that I’m a nocturnal person. I seem to work best at night. But not for long, cause I’d get sleepy and all. Lol. And and and!!! I’ve been posted to Alexandra Hospital for my attachment this September!!! :( ! And you know what SUCKS???? I’m posted for 3 weeks in mid-September and it’s DURING RAYA WEEK!!!! I think I get a 3 weeks holiday first, then attachment for 3 weeks, then another week of holidays before Semester 2 officially starts! OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M MISSING HARI RAYA THIS YEAR!!!!! IT’S NOT FAIR!!! Kak Nik and Iman and auntie and uncle are gonna KILL ME! *gasp*! And I’m missing all the fun!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not funny. Not at all. And I haven’t even start listing out my stress list, including all the exams coming up in about a month! Already I’m worried over my attachment and and and, what if I KILL SOMEONE????? This attachment is some sort of assessment and I gotta PASS this thing!!! I can’t fail, but I’m so so worried!!!

I can faint from all these “excitement”. *Sigh*.

Gotta go work on Psychology again now. Will update again soon.

Toodles.

P.S. Lunch time performance is happening again! 29th July 2009! Wheeeee! :D ! Dance! XD!

P.P.S. I’d be deadly exhausted by then. God bless.

P.P.P.S. I want ice cream. I WANT!!!

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Sigh.

July 20, 2009 at 10:57 PM (Personal Rants)

Je me sens tout seul, même quand vous êtes ici avec moi.

Je ne sais pas pourquoi.

Je suis triste.

Sigh.

For once in my life, can I just be selfish? Don’t want to think about anyone else, you, he, she, them. No one. Just to be selfish, for just this one time.

Sigh.

 

This is a lonely life, though I think it suits me well.

- Sylvia Hotel, Cheryl Wheeler.

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*jumps around like a mad rabbit*

July 20, 2009 at 11:14 AM (One Of Those Moments When I Couldn't Help But Blog., Personal Rants)
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FRENCH EXAM TODAY,

FRENCH EXAM TODAY,

FRENCH EXAM TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*jumps around like a mad rabbit*

And WHY am I NOT worried??? I mean, I am worried, for all the good reasons, I am worried I won’t be able to listen properly, since I’m all fresh and all, and that I may input the wrong infinitive or verb or something like that. Oh GOD!

Not enough that I couldn’t sleep last night, and when I did, I didn’t sleep well!!! I dreamt that I was going to die. And it’s like, I don’t know how you say it, but I just received “orders” that I was going to die. And I was going to WAIT for my turn to DIE. What a sadist.

I was supposed to wake up at 8.30am today, but looking at my lost sleep and the throbbing in my head, I went back to sleep and only arise at like…10am. Should last me the entire day, plus the extra work I’m going to do for Bio tonight. Heee.

Oh well, back to work! :)

Toodles.

One minute it’s love, and suddenly it’s like a battlefield.

One word turns into a war,

Why is it the smallest things, that tear us down?

Why does love always feel like a battlefield?

- Battlefield, Jordin Sparks.

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Past and Present.

July 18, 2009 at 7:30 PM (National Choir, One Of Those Moments When I Couldn't Help But Blog., Personal Rants, Stage Arts Dance, Those really long posts...again.)
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It’s been a long, hectic, exhausting week for me. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I didn’t think I would be this drained. Even in my sleep, I am not in peace! I’m plagued by dreams, that take my soul somewhere far far away, only to have them plunge me back into harsh reality when my alarm starts ringing. Dance, exams, assignments, presentations, working on the newspaper…I never knew my brain can work this hard. On Monday, I got a little stressed over French, since the exam is this coming Monday. But dance practice in the evening took them all away as I practiced like a mad woman with all other Stage Art-ians. I wanted to perfect all the moves, give them 150% and what not, seeing that Ambre and I have been practicing them since last Friday. I’m glad you guys helped me point out my mistakes, and all, and help me to correct them. They may not be perfect still, but it’s better than before. :) The minute dance practice ended, all other problems came smashing down on me again. By the time I got home, it was already 11+pm, so I read through my nasogastric tube feeding notes, and tried to visualize me doing the procedures in my head. But you know what’s the interesting part? In my head, as I was visualizing those procedures, I was also doing all the dance steps! I kept practicing them in my head, keep visualizing the correct steps, the moves, the grooves, and they played on and on, even while I was talking to myself about how I should aspirate the gastric juice and measuring it. This went on and on even after I went to sleep. I didn’t sleep very well that night. The next day, the same thing happened again. But the intensity was twice as bad, because my clinical assessment was on Wednesday and lunchtime performance was going to take place right after that! It was a painful pressure for me. I needed to do well for my clinical, and I want to perform well for dance! That night, after practice, I did the same thing, practiced the steps, physically and also in my head, as I ran through my procedures and rationales, over and over again! Again I didn’t sleep well that night. I prayed so hard that I would be able to accomplish both, successfully. I think it was the first time I prayed so hard since I came to Singapore.

With God’s blessing, the next day didn’t turn out to be disastrous. (I refused to think of anything bad that could happen on Wednesday, I was going on POSTIVE THINKING!) I managed to pass my clinical assessment, even though Ms. Allison and I both knew that I didn’t perform as well as I could have. We both also knew I performed better for the vital signs assessment and she asked me why. I just said I panicked. But overall, I still manage to meet the requirements and pass the test. Thank God for that. I was a bit disappointed with my performance but I would have to blame that on my lack of proper practices. Hopefully in time I would improve. I rushed to dance after that, and started practicing again non-stop. By the 4th or 5th time of practice, I was seriously out of breath. I thought I was going to faint, I couldn’t perform the steps properly. I was so scared, I didn’t want to think. I thought I was the only one, but it seems everyone was experiencing the same symptoms! We just stopped then. When we all got ready, you can almost feel the electric charge of our energy. The excitement, the power, it was charging in the air! It was so exciting!

Personally, for me, it was like reviving old memories again. The power charging in me, every time before I perform, it’s coming back again! Just that this time it’s different. For the past 10 years that I’ve been performing, this time, it was a different charge. I was going to DANCE! Something that will knock the breath out of me, and transfer the energy to the audience! It’s not the same as choir anymore (albeit the same stage rules apply, it’s like a standard thing, no doubt), but this time we were actually gonna rock the place with dance! It was exhilarating! *jumps around and squeal!*

GirliciousSoul, Hanisah, Me STAGE ARTS! 

It’s simply too troublesome to load all the pictures up here, but most of the is on Facebook, so if you’re interested to check them out, feel free. I have to say it’s been an extremely long time since I applied that much of make up and I still am not a fan neither am I an expert in it, it feels damn good once I remove them. Tee hee. For me, that’s way toooo much make up for daily basis but for stage performances, that’s merely enough to make you look presentable on stage. And not scare your audience. Hehehe.

And here, looking at…

Shah AlamBeach! Shah Alam1 

Shah Alam 2

Ahh…the joys of performing.  I sure miss those days. I sure miss the choir. :( Don’t know when I would be able to perform with all of you again. I MISS YOU ALL!!! (Pictures are all on Facebook, somewhere, haha!)

Now back to Singapore. Lol. What happened after that? Oh yes, we performed alright, we did our best. But there’s always room for improvement :D ! The disaster struck after that, when I woke up the next day, and my thighs and knees hurt like MAD. I thought it was just gonna be for a while, and nothing serious, but when I bent down to tie my shoe laces, gosh, I felt an excruciating pain on my left knee! Initially I felt pain on both knees and thighs, but they lessened the next day, leaving my left knee killing me slowly. I can’t flex my knee, or I’ll feel like the pressure at my joint! I don’t know if it’s going to go away but if it doesn’t I’m supposed to see the doctor. Gosh, I hope it’s nothing serious.

The bad news came after that too, my Psychology ICA presentation has been brought forward 2 weeks in front. So instead of presenting on Week 17 (Now it’s week 14, come this Monday), as scheduled, we are going to have to present on Week 15. Means I have 1 more week to RUSH everything and make sure all work is done. I am going to die. On top of that, I also have Family and Community Health ICA presentation on the same bloody week, and we still have yet to find our toddler to interview. God bless us, I’m not through! I still have dance! There is a National Day (Singapore’s) thing coming up, and dance is involved and oh-how-I-so-wish I can perform for that. So since Friday I’ve been practicing again, with Ambre, and now I have to recap the steps and get them all right by Tuesday. And also jab in some showmanship in the process. I’m losing touch with this skill! *gasp*!

French exam is on Monday, and Bio practical exam on Tuesday. Gotta scoot now and go work on my French grammar. Loads to finish up by tonight.

P.S. I WANT TO GO WATCH HARRY POTTER!!!!! T.T! I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!!

P.P.S. I WANT SLEEP! I’M DEPRIVED OF SLEEP! T.T

P.P.P.S. I ALSO WANT A HOLIDAY!!! T.T SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY!!! *tears*

Toodles.

  

How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you…?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this…?

Cause you’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything,

Everything…

- Everything, Lifehouse.

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Just a little thought.

July 9, 2009 at 11:52 PM (Personal Rants)

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. You may not see it happening. It’s almost invisible, but you can FEEL it. And sometimes, people don’t even care! That’s when you feel all alone. Scary thought. You gotta fight for it, if you want it, bad enough.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just all in my head.

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